Here is a new article I’ve been working on at the Home Maker’s Corner. It is rather long, but this is a subject that is of pretty high importance right now with marital unfaithfulness being such a focal point in Christian circles, especially in Christian Patriarchy.
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Why Is A Wife Blamed for her Husband’s Unfaithfulness?
Proverbs 20:23 Divers weights are an abomination
unto the LORD; and a false balance is not good.
The recent Duggar catastrophe that exposed Josh Duggar for having an Ashley Madison account and his subsequent "confession" has caused a lot of discussion. Among other things, there has been speculation about whether Anna, his wife, would feel compelled to share in the blame. This compulsion could be caused by a number of things - the teachings of Gothard on sexual sin, her own misguided conscience, her in-laws, her church fellowship, etc.
I feel badly for Anna, but there is nothing that I personally can do for her except pray, so speculating on her state of mind and conscience is kind of pointless. However, it seems like it would be appropriate to stop and consider how we arrived at the point where women in Christendom are so often blamed either partially or mostly for their husbands' moral failures. How did this unjust balance in thinking come about? Here are some reasons that came to mind. There are probably more.
Thankyou for this comprehensive coverage on this topic. I agree with what you have written and you have put it so much better than I ever could.
ReplyDeleteCultural norm on blaming women is one of the reasons why we have domestic violence, men still think it is ok to blame their wives and “disciple” them either verbally or through violence. In fact throughout history it has been acceptable to beat one's wife as long as you didn't kill her. Sadly so men still think this is ok.
Thank you for your encouragement, Jo. I really appreciate it.
DeleteI didn't think about the domestic violence connection as I wrote that. You are so right! Tragically, there are now claims that within the Patriarchy Movement and its "friends" there are men now teaching men to "spank" their wives when they are "naughty". I read one commentor who claimed he and his wife had been in the home of a leading figure in Christian Patriarchy. They had been generous donors to his ministry and at the time admired him. While they were there this man sent his wife "to her room" for some transgression and then later went up and spanked her from all the sounds of it. The wife was extremely humiliated when she came down later. The story was not given in a sensational or overly dramatic manner, and the writer sounded more concerned than hateful. Based upon things I've learned already, this sounds like a natural progression within that movement, and I don't doubt that it is happening. The story goes that they are not teaching this publicly because of the infamy that it would bring them, so it is being passed from men to men in more private settings. (Not a new tactic either, as we've heard this regarding other extreme teachings). It is nothing short of appalling! God have mercy on the poor women!
It breaks my heart :(
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