1. I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
2. I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio, I think "Hey, maybe I wrote that."
3. I turned my air conditioner the other way around, and it got cold out. The weatherman said, "I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today." I said "Oops . . ."
4. I spilled Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
5. I bought some powdered water, but I didn't know what to add.
6. I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now, but leave a message and I'll call when I'm out."
7. I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time." So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
9. I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it.
10. I went to a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.