Just for Fun - A "Recommended Reading" List

Artist unknown.

Recommended Reading

 

Great Rescue Stories     - by Justin Thyme

10 Cures for Sea Sickness   - by Wyatt E. Errp

Rock Collecting   - by Cal Sydney

The Prides of Serengeti     - by Lionel Cubb

The Green Thumb   - by Thorogood Gardiner

Horse Shoes   - by Blanche Smith

Cattle Ranching In the Old West    - by Bessy Hereford

Spicing Your Cuisine    - by Herb Cooke

How To Get It All   - by Wanda Moore

Fabulous Footwear    - by Ima Schumacher

Shallow Water Fishing    - by Roxie Scholes

Utilizing Your Library - by Ida Reid

White Water Rafting   - by Flo Blanca

Best Breads Ever   - by Ann Baker

Investing Your Assets   - by Rich Banks

Formal Gardens of Europe   - by Redd Rosa

Sea Shore Vacations   - by Michelle Holliday

Gothic Churches   - by Belle Freeman

Oil Painting   - by Dabney Strokes

Precious Gems of Australia   - by Opal Black

Great Cities of Italy   - by Florence Milan

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For anyone who failed to notice, this is a joke. ;-)

Just for Fun - Write Gooder

This humorous list has made its rounds on the internet for quite a few years. I'm sorry to say that I don't know who the original author is. I may have added one or two items myself. I can't remember now. :-)

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1. Avoid alliteration always.

2. Prepositions are no words to end sentences with.

3. Avoid clichés like the plague.

4. Employ the vernacular ad nauseam.

5. Eschew ampersands & abbrev., etc.

6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

Continue Reading. 

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artist unknown

Just for Fun - To Tickle Your Funny Bone

1. I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

2. I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio, I think "Hey, maybe I wrote that."

3. I turned my air conditioner the other way around, and it got cold out. The weatherman said, "I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today." I said "Oops . . ."

4. I spilled Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

5. I bought some powdered water, but I didn't know what to add.

6. I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now, but leave a message and I'll call when I'm out."

7. I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time." So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

9. I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it.

10. I went to a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

Just for Fun - Mostly Useless Trivia about the 50 States

1. Alabama - The Confederate flag was designed and first flown in Alabama in 1861.

2.  Alaska - 17 of the 20 highest peaks in the United States are located in Alaska.

3. Arizona - The original London Bridge was shipped stone-by-stone and reconstructed in Lake Havasu City.

4. Arkansas - Pine Bluff is known as the world center of archery bow production.

5. California - One out of every eight United States residents lives in California.

6. Colorado - The United States federal government owns more than 1/3 of the land in Colorado.

Continue Reading.

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Painting by T. C. Steele

Just for Fun - "Simon's Cat - Double Trouble"

This is a relatively accurate representation of cats learning to live in the same house. :-)





Please remember I have no control over the ads or suggested videos.

Just for Fun - You Might Be A Missionaries' Kid If...

My mother and her brothers. Tanzania, 1957.

Finding a beak in your chicken soup doesn't shock you.

You have to fight panic when people drive on the right hand side of the road.

You like Marmite, and you're not British by birth.

You've been lost in a large, foreign airport and knew what to do.

You can actually pronounce Welsh town names.

You know that skirts and robes are not exclusively women's clothes in other parts of the world.

Continue Reading.

Worth Repeating - A Bit of Humor

Here are some fun food related quotes I posted in 2010. I added the images from my collection. :-)
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"The thought of two thousand people crunching celery at the same time horrified me." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950). Explaining why he had turned down an invitation to a vegetarian gala dinner.

Have you heard of the garlic diet?
You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner.

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. – Fran L.

The West wasn’t won on salad.
- North Dakota Beef Council advertisement, 1990

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. ~Jim Davis
“I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning.” ~John B.

“It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat.” Robert Fuoss
My favorite animal is steak. ~Fran L.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. ~Calvin Trillin

A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat. ~Old New York Proverb

And I find chopsticks frankly distressing. Am I alone in thinking it odd that a people ingenious enough to invent paper, gunpowder, kites and any number of other useful objects, and who have a noble history extending back 3,000 years haven't yet worked out that a pair of knitting needles is no way to capture food? ~Bill B.

Illustrated Poem - Winter Morning by Ogden Nash

Winter Morning

Winter is the king of showmen,
Turning tree stumps into snow men,
And houses into birthday cakes,
And spreading sugar over lakes.

Smooth and clean and frosty white,
The world looks good enough to bite.
That's the season to be young
Catching snowflakes on your tongue.

Snow is snowy when it's snowing

I'm sorry it's slushy when it's going.

by Ogden Nash

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Top two photos: Michigan in the 1960s. Taken by one of my grandparents.
Bottom two photos: Tennessee in the first ten years of 2000. Taken by me.

Signs that You Are No Longer A Kid

The artist's family in the garden. Claude Monet

SIGNS THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER A KID

You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.

Your back goes out more than you do.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in.

You buy a GPS for the dash of your car.

You have an opinion on Home Owner's Associations.

You are proud of your lawn mower.

You sing along with the elevator music.

You would rather go to work than stay home sick.

You constantly talk about the price of healthcare or polotics.

You enjoy hearing about other people's operations or birthings.

You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

You make an appointment to see the dentist.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You know what time the garbage truck and the mail comes.

Neighbors borrow your tools or books.

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

You answer a question with, "because I said so!"

You take a metal detector to the beach.

You wear socks with sandals.

You know what the word "equity" means.

You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor.

Your ears are hairier than your head.

You get into a heated discussion about Health Savings Accounts.

You got cable for the weather channel.

You got on the internet so you could share photos of your kids or see photos of your grandchildren.

-- Original author unknown. Edited.

Just for Fun - Rules for Cats with A House to Run

The photos here are of "Mischief," a cat my brother owned when my family lived in Tennessee.

I do not know who the original author of this is. I have made some additions and edits. Enjoy! :-)

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Rules for cats who have a house to run.

I.  DOORS:  Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened, stand on hind legs and scratch with fore-paws while meowing pathetically. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and halfway out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold or hot weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season. Swinging doors are to be avoided at all costs.

II.  CHAIRS AND RUGS:  If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so that it is as long as the human's bare foot.

III.  BATHROOMS: Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything -- just sit and stare.

IV.  HAMPERING:  If one of your humans is engaged in some absorbing activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping", otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering":
  a) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted. Be sure to shriek piteously since humans love to feel guilty.
  b) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
  c) For knitting projects or paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work as possible, or at least the most important part. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or knitting needles. The worker may try to distract you; ignore it. Remember, the aim is to hamper work. Embroidery and needlepoint projects make great hammocks in spite of what the humans may tell you.
 d) For people paying bills (monthly activity) or working on income taxes or Christmas cards (annual activity), keep in mind the aim -- to hamper! First, sit on the paper being worked on.  When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils, and erasers off the table, one at a time.
 e) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper. They love to jump.
 f) When your human is working on a computer try to walk in front of the screen as often as possible. Lie down on the keyboard if you can.
 g) Walk across jig saw puzzles when your feet are damp so as to track as many pieces away from the project as possible. Lie down and roll on it too. Locating the pieces gives the human needed exercise.

 h) If your human sews, hide behind the sewing machine and make grabs at the project as it comes towards you while she/he is sewing. Also, find a nice soft spot in the sewing room on fabric that collects lint easily, then lie there as often as possible so as to cover it with as much cat hair as possible. Leave a fun hairball surprise in a place your human didn't think you could reach.

[Note: This was the basket of clean rags, and she wasn't actually allowed to go outside. :-)  ]

 i) Go outside and role in the dust or get your paws all muddy, then ask to come back inside. Go and lie in a laundry basket of clean clothes or walk across the kitchen counter. Best of all, sneak up between the sheets on the master bed. This makes extra work for your humans which they love.

V.  WALKING: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially: on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.

VI.  BEDTIME: Always sleep on the human at night so s/he cannot move around.

The Thousand Word Project - To Warm You

Or perhaps this "wood" be better.

Just for Fun - "Western Spaghetti" Stop Motion Video

Just a fun little video for your enjoyment. :-)

Is It Food?

Another post from the past since we have company at present and I needed a quick post. :-)

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Did you ever wonder how to tell what is good food and what is not at the grocery store?  Or, have you ever had trouble deciphering the label lingo?  Here’s a clever flowchart to help you determine what is really edible on the grocery store shelves. :-)
Is It Food? [Flowchart]

Reader(?) Comments - Corny Spam

Vintage ad from 1939.
From tumblr.


Spam is one of my least favorite things to eat.  I used to be able to tolerate it, though I didn't like it especially well.  Now half a slice makes me sick.  Blah.  No thanks.

I don't like spam in email.  It's such a nuisance.  But, I also get my share of spam comments on the blog (one reason comments are moderated).  However, I have to admit that some of them make me laugh sometimes. :-)

Here is one that tickled me:

"I have read so many articles regarding the blogger lovers but this piece of writing is really a nice article, keep it up. Here is my blog navigate..." (Obviously I'm not giving them free advertising, so you don't get the link.)

What was funny to me was that it was written on my Curried Cheese Ball post.  It is nice to know that a recipe is a "really nice" piece of writing.  :-)
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This one is funny because it looks to me like someone who used Google translate to try to get the English for what they wanted to say.  It makes enough sense that it isn't just one of those garbled collections of mixed phrases.  What do you think?

"Pretty component to content. I simply stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your weblog posts. Any way I'll be subscribing in your feeds and even I fulfillment you get admission to consistently rapidly."  (Advertising blurb removed)
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Then there was this one, which was spam put up for a dancing school somewhere in the world (I checked the link).  It was posted on the the Tomatillo Salsa recipe.

"The solution to this issue is basically being aware of the issue. Once we know that feeling odd is OK, and not an indication that we are moving incorrectly, that feeling is less likely to affect the way we dance. Still, to be better partner dancers, we would rather it all feel natural."

For those readers who do not know - salsa is both a sauce and a dance. :-)  I wonder what kind of dance the "Tomatillo Salsa" is, though.
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Last, but not least, there was this jewel advertising hair extensions.  Most of it was just chatter but, the way it starts is worth a chuckle to me.  :-)

"Are you exhausted of your vintage faishon hairstyle? Do you like long hairs and your hairs are too short? Do you desire to change hair method and make them as attractive as most of the celebrities have?"

Actually, I am not exhausted of my "vintage faishon hairstyle".  I've worn my hair in the present style for a long time and since it suits me and is relatively easy, I'm fine with it.  :-)

Also, while I like "long hairs" I don't feel like my "hairs" are too short.  In fact, I could probably still grow my hair out if I wanted to, but it gives me such headaches that I am very glad that we are not expected to have "long hairs" these days.  I've often thought I would have been miserable in "the good old days" with my hair long and piled on my head, because my head does not get used to it and it goes from headaches to burning scalp.  I never kept on beyond that stage because I didn't want to find out if it would start falling out in quantity.  So, no.  I'm good with my "short hairs". :-)

Lastly, I couldn't care less how the celebrities wear their hair.  If they all started shaving their heads it would make no difference to me.  [I think it's amusing that they put in that clarifying phrase "most of".  Apparently even they don't consider all celebrities to have attractive hair.] :-)

Probably many of these blog spammers are speaking English as a second language, or in one case using a translator.  I freely admit that I would do a lot worse in their various languages and they would get to laugh at me if I tried.  But, we have to see the humor in the things that annoy us sometimes - in this case spam - or we will go rancid before our expiration date.

To An Unknown Bust in the British Museum by Austin Dobson

Photo from Wikimedia Commons

To An Unknown Bust in the British Museum

By Austin Dobson

Who were you once? Could we but guess,
We might perchance more boldly
Define the patient weariness
That sets your lips so coldly;
You "lived," we know, for blame and fame;
But sure, to friend or foeman,
You bore some more distinctive name
Than mere "B. C.,"—and "Roman"?

Continue Reading.

A Few Fun Food Poems

Why I wonder
Is a tomato round and red?
Because if it was long and green
It would be a cucumber instead

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Divide 18 potatoes among 6 people
The exam question read
Boil them and mash them!
That's what I said.

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Celery, raw
Develops the jaw
But celery, stewed
Is more quietly chewed

-Ogden Nash
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(Originally published June 2010.)

Just for Fun - A Birthday Concert

Today is my birthday. :-)

True story - I was born during the worst snow storm of that winter (yes, April can be a winter month in Western Michigan).  My parents pulled onto the main highway into town right behind the snow plow and followed it to the city limits where it turned around and headed back the other way.  But the hospital was right there, so they could pull straight into the parking lot.  The Lord sent the snow plow through just at the perfect time! :-)

Just because...

Fun Food Poems

First posted April 2009. Edited.
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When you tip the ketchup bottle,

First will come a little, then a lot'll.

Author unknown  

(http://www.brownielocks.com/kidpoems.html)

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I always eat peas with honey,

I've done it all my life;

It may taste kind of funny

But it sure keeps them on the knife!

Author unknown

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One Egg

It's hardly enough for breakfast. It isn't enough when you bake.

It isn't sufficient to a make meringue, or cookies, or even cake.

It doesn't go far in a salad, though you devil it, slice it or chop it.

But it covers the floor from wall to wall if ever you should drop it.

Unknown

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Methuselah

Methuselah ate what he found on his plate,

     And never as people do now;

Did he note the account of the calorie count.

     He ate it because it was chow.

He wasn't disturbed as at dinner he sat,

     Devouring a stew or a pie

To think it was lacking in granular fat,

       Or a couple of vitamins shy;

He cheerfully chewed every species of food,

     Unmindful of troubles or fears

Lest his health might be hurt

     By some fancy dessert,

And he lived over nine hundred years.

Rex Hrusoff

Just for Fun - The Roller Coaster Ride In Airports

Something fun and different today.  Here are two videos showing the journey of luggage through two large airports.  Did you know your luggage was going on such an exciting roller coaster ride while you languished in the seating areas? :-)

Just for Fun - Some Family Humor

Here are some links to Family Circus comics that I liked. :-)  I hope you enjoy them.

There's just something about snow...

I feel that way myself sometimes. :-)

Kind of like some people on Facebook...

I know that feeling too.

The budding artist.

Food for thought.

...and this one is just riiight.