It's been about 100 years - give or take a few - since I did one of these, so I thought it was time...
First, though, I want to thank all those who have prayed for my health lately. As those who read the posts of Facebook may know, I've been having some health struggles. It has been an ongoing thing, which is a story for another day, and it is still being worked through at present. But, I just wanted to say thank you to those who have prayed for me. The Lord is helping us through this and giving light for the way, but on His time schedule. There is still a ways to go before we're hopefully through it, so please do continue to pray if you feel so led. It's appreciated muchly. :-)
Lately I have been...
Making: A mess. We are in the process of moving out of our master suite to the guest room at the opposite end of house so that my husband can work on mold clean up and possibly remodeling of the bathroom in the master suite. Also my dad needs us closer to his house at present so that we can get the signal from the call button receiver in case he needs us in the night. (It doesn't reach our present bedroom.) Do you know how much mess it takes to change rooms after you've lived in one for 13 years. Stuff here. Stuff there. Where should this go? Do we really need this? Etc. ad nauseum.
Cooking: Yes. I have been cooking. We have to eat, after all. :-) (Oh, the sarcasm. It will come out at times.) <grin> Sigh. Mostly, I've been trying to cook quick and easy things that don't take too much time and energy. I've also been trying to eat three meals a day instead of just two and snacks. I think it's better for me. My husband has been working from home most of the time, and the flexibility has been maybe just a little too easy to take advantage of.
Reading: Less intense things because I'm a little fragile right now. It's the time of year for seasonal affected disorder, and I have to be careful what I read, listen to, watch, and even what I talk about and who I interact with.
Wanting: To feel better and have more energy. There has been improvement - thank the Lord! But, there are still things that need work.
Looking: For stuff we need to buy - a new air purifier, a cleaner small space air conditioner, a new automatic blood pressure monitor, etc. I do not enjoy trying to make decisions about things like that.
Playing: That game of trying to relocate a bunch of possessions out of one room (two rooms, really) into the rest of the house and figuring out where to put it all and what can be gotten rid of and what is really needful and has to be easy to access. And...then too, what is there in the rest of the house that isn't needed and can go away in order to make room for the needed displaced stuff. Does that sound like a cheerful, restful game? It isn't. Just so you know. ;-)
Deciding: So many things. It's exhausting. Making decisions is one of the great challenges of my life in many ways because indecision is one of my besetting faults. Ack! Some of the decisions are quite important and potentially life changing, and others are not that important, but I sometimes treat them all with the same level of intensity. Ho hum. Do we every outgrow these things, I wonder?
Wishing: So many things. But most of all that I would just trust the Lord to get us through this time and stop thinking that something terrible is happening every time a new obstacle pops up. Because they often are turning out to be the thing that leads us to the next important piece of the puzzle we're working on.
Enjoying: Gorgeous autumn weather. And over the last few days - that the allergens are finally going down some. We have opened windows a couple days this week already.
Waiting: For my batteries to recharge so that I can get the next thing done. And not always waiting like I should and sometimes getting myself into a bit of a snarl. And I need to use my waiting time better too without adding to my tiredness, if that makes sense.
Liking: Having my husband's help with things that need doing - especially the kitchen chores and the moving rooms project. Having him working on the clean up in our yard from last February's big freeze (we had a number of dead things that need/needed to be cut down and removed and it was recommended to wait till fall so we could know how much was truly dead.)
Wondering: If we should be repairing this house or trying to make other living arrangements - like a small house we can put additions on later, or a portable small house that we could move later if we needed to. Also, wondering if the new highway that is supposed to go through this area is going to go through our property. It looks like it may go through across the street. By how close? And how bothersome? And should we move or stay or what? With all the stuff going on in our situation it's obvious that the Lord is doing something here, but the steps are still only clearing one at a time. How our flesh dislikes that sometimes.
Also wondering how it got dark so soon.
Loving: Our quiet life here with just the three of us and the cats. Our property is like a park. We have so much to enjoy and be thankful for and our fellowship and friendship among ourselves has been good this year.
Missing: My mom. So very much. Sometimes it feels like it's more than last year this time. October was their anniversary and this year it was just hard to see my dad alone and struggling to be thankful. And this month is Thanksgiving which is our family's main holiday of the year. Grief surprises us sometimes because we think that it's lifting more and then we get to some point and it comes back so strong that we wonder what is wrong with us or "Why now? Why this again?" It's important to remember that it's OK to feel and yearn for connection because that is what God created us for - connection to Him and to each other. And, if our loved ones were God's children also, we have to try to temper our sorrow and missing of them with hope for a future so great we can't even imagine it. Romans 8:17-19 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.
(I can't help myself sometimes. I'm a teacher at heart I guess.:-) )
Pondering: How strange the world has become. How truly nasty people can be. (2 Timothy 3:1-7) How important it is not to let the ugliness around us make us hard and unfeeling just because most people don't respond well to life in general and specifically to the truth from God's word. It's so easy to harden our hearts and emotions because feeling hurts when there is so much wrong around us.
Considering: Donating a lot of fabric and yarn to others so that I have less stuff and also so that these things will be put to good use. I just have too much fabric and stuff in my sewing room and I don't sew all that much any more, so a lot of the fabric could go to someone who will use it and I could keep just what I really love and would likely use. And I hardly have use of yarn any more as I haven't crocheted much in years. I have already started this on a small scale, but I need to pursue it more. It's hard because I love fabric. But, truthfully, I think I love painting and making greeting cards and writing more. So...
Watching: This and that. Stuff. I really need to work on watching less, and better short videos (like on Facebook). It's a work in progress. Some of the painting videos have been creatively inspiring. Sermons can be really good too and I was blessed with several over the weekend. Research is more likely to be discouraging or take up a lot of head space. But, watching the cats' antics is always a pleasure, especially when they accompany us on our walks (on our property, not the road). Also, it's been a little weird watching our younger cat, Snickerdoodle, pass up his older brother, Java, in size - just all of the sudden he's a big cat!
Hoping: For improvement and for less migraines. To make progress with inner struggles. To get the move to the other bedroom completed.
Marveling: At God's amazing creation. The beauty of good friendships and how much they improve our lives and make us better. How God brings things to us in groups to underscore a point He's making sometimes - the same basic message from several different directions at one time.
Needing: To get so many things done. To spend less time on Facebook, even when I actually do need to be resting. :-/ To be more diligent at keeping the kitchen cleaned up because I feel better when there isn't a pile of stuff looking at me every time I go in there, and getting in my way when I need to work.
Smelling: Like ginger a lot because I'm using ginger scented grapeseed oil for deodorant. Ok, I know that wasn't what was intended, but it's true, and I like the smell. :-) Unfortunately a bee did today on our walk too - apparently. I ran a little bit for the first time in I-don't-know-how-long. I actually can still run a little. haha! I also have enjoyed the smell of autumn lately. One day someone was burning leaves or wood somewhere around here and it smelled so much like I remember from my youth in Michigan - back when so many people burned leaves in the fall. :-)
Wearing: My feelings on my sleeve too much. It's not a good look on me. Ugh. Also wearing things that are more comfortable around the shoulders because tightness and discomfort there can move into my neck and then my head and create a migraine or at least a headache. Also, I've been able to break out some of my warmer clothes! Yay! I love the more snuggly things. :-) At least for a few months. ;-)
Noticing: That there are others recently who are getting weary of the bad attitudes and general nastiness and contention going on. This is hopeful. If enough people get fed up and step away and warn others back maybe things can settle down a bit. Also, noticing how many, many Christians and churches I know of seem to be under attack from the adversary these last two years. It has been over the top, constant, and not always entirely obvious. It also seems to be escalating. What does it mean? I don't think we know the final answer on that, but it is important! And the spiritual battle has been so palpable. It has felt harder to get to where I want to be spiritually and to just keep on keeping on.
Knowing: That the Lord is in control. And yet too often doubting that, or doubting myself and thinking that all this is my fault somehow. And yet, the Lord keeps showing Himself strong and wise in spite of my weakness and lack of faith. He has given us the leading or piece of information we needed a number of times in ways that I didn't like when it happened, and yet afterwards or part way through I knew it was Him and it was part of His purpose for us. "O, [me] of little faith!"
Thinking: Sometimes I have to try to just stop. It can become overwhelming and make me so stressed out. And, with the headaches and migraines it can actually make the pain worse. But, I have been thinking about a lot, as I think you can already see from this post. Ha. ;-)
Feeling: Gradually better! Praise the Lord! There are still set backs, and worse days, but my stamina has slowly increased some and my energy is better. Also, I have sometimes felt like writing again and done a little, which is good. :-) Sometimes I feel so discouraged with all the stuff we're dealing with at the present, and other times I feel hopeful and excited to be getting some things done - especially where our house is concerned.
Admiring: Other people's painting. The autumn sun. The flowers my husband bought me for our anniversary! :-)
Buying: Some new art stuff. Yay! Also a lot of necessities. And, on our anniversary, we got to go to Whole Foods (thank the Lord for strength!) and we bought various useful foods we hadn't had for a long time and some treats and we made ourselves a nice meal at home later. We hadn't been to Whole Foods for well over a year because we had reduced our grocery shopping to two stores and online.
Getting: Tired. And getting things done! Yes, despite my slowness, there has been progress. When I stop to consider what has been done instead of looking just at what hasn't yet, I can see that we're making progress, and sometimes it's very encouraging. :-)
Bookmarking: Painting stuff. Card making stuff. Research. Stuff for the blog. Possible housing options.
Opening: The windows! The blinds and drapes! Because the weather is cool enough to do both more now. Thank the Lord! :-)
Giggling: At the cats. With my husband - ok, he doesn't giggle a lot, but I giggle with him. :-) We laugh at the cats a lot. I giggle at myself sometimes too. At random silly thoughts or memories.
Psalm 90:12-17 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. Return, O LORD, how long? and let it repent thee concerning thy servants. O satisfy us early with thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. Make us glad according to the days wherein thou hast afflicted us, and the years wherein we have seen evil. Let thy work appear unto thy servants, and thy glory unto their children. And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it.
