Random Questions - Relationships with Others

Here is a short list of questions from my collection.

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Do you prefer that people shoot straight with you or temper their words?

I think that something in between is the most useful. In Ephesians 4:14-15 we read,  That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: Some people will speak the truth without love. This is destructive and can cause serious damage. Some people try to speak in love, but they don't pay enough attention to truth. This is unhelpful and can be destructive in a different way. A combination of both is necessary for true usefulness and this is what I like to find in others. It is what I want to do myself.

What are three qualities that draw you to someone new?

This is hard to answer. At the Lord's prompting, I have been trying over the last few years to broaden my friendships and include people who might not have been too high on my list of "perfect friends" in the past. So, I actually try not to allow myself to be overly influenced by my personal preferences. Obviously, I want to be drawn to people who are born again and have a sincere love for the Lord. I also want to appreciate the things God has placed in His children for the help of other Christians, including me.

I do find myself not enjoying interactions with people who are overbearing or always pushing for answers or trying to make you a more spiritual person. Asking hard questions is a useful thing when it is done appropriately, but it is exhausting when someone does it almost constantly. It makes it hard to relax in that person's presence. The first thing that attracted me to my husband was that I realized I was comfortable talking with him and didn't feel tense around him. I don't do well with high tension. :-)

When do you immediately click with someone you just met?

I occasionally find a connection with someone because they "speak my language." This means to me that I don't have to stop and explain every other idea (or comment) that I bring out and I can see that they are grasping my thoughts with understanding even as I speak them. This doesn't apparently have to do with background or geographic location as one might think. I have experienced this with ladies from very different places and also upbringings. It doesn't happen very often, though.

Are you close with anyone now that you really disliked at first?

I would say yes, but "really disliked" is too strongly put. I do have a few what I would call close friends whom I didn't appreciate much at all when I first got to know them. However, for one reason or another we've grown in our friendships, either from necessity or for other reasons, and we've been able to be of mutual service to each other in the Lord.

There are also people whom I thought I liked when I first got to know them, some even contributed some truly useful things to my life, but then later I found them to be problematic or even really unbiblical in their attitudes or behavior. I suppose this is more common than the other in some ways.

How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize?

It depends on the offense, doesn't it? Some things are much harder to let go of than others. But, I have learned that forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation, and in that there is a certain amount of freedom. This was a realization that transformed my thinking.

We can forgive someone, but if the offense is so great or such an affront to righteousness that an apology is necessary for any relationship to exist, then we cannot reconcile with them until they see their offense for what it really is. This is true of those whom Jesus asked the Father to forgive when He was on the cross. Luke 23:34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots. God might forgive them that particular sin, but He could not have a relationship with them until they wanted reconciliation and were repentant (saying the saying the same thing about their sin that God says).

Who is the person who has been the most supportive in your life?

My husband.

There have been many others over the years too, both family and friends. I am very thankful for the supportive people God has placed in my life.

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Painting by Edmund Charles Tarbell