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Tuesday, March 10, 2015

20th Century Religions and Philosophies – He Who Has Toys…


Old picture of me washing toys. Circa 1992.

Comparison of Religious and Philosophical Theories in the Late 20th Century
[by various authors]

Capitalism: He who dies with the most toys, wins.
Hari Krishna: He who plays with the most toys, wins.
Catholicism: He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
Anglican: They were our toys first.
Greek Orthodox: No, they were OURS first.
Atheism: There is no toy maker.
Polytheism: There are many toy makers.
Evolutionism: The toys made themselves.
Church of Christ Scientist: We are the toys.
Communism: Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you are in big trouble if we catch you selling yours.
B'Hai: All toys are just fine with us.
Amish: Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
Taoism: The doll is as important as the dump truck.
Mormonism: Every man will become a toy maker someday.
Voodoo: Let me borrow that doll for a second.
Hinduism: He who plays with plastic farm animals, loses.
7th Day Adventist: He who plays with toys on Saturday, loses.
Southern Baptist: If your toy is a Disney product, you have a one-way ticket to Hell.
Independent Baptist: He who has toys must have them in church every time the doors are open.
Jehovah's Witnesses: He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
Pentecostalism: He whose toys can talk, wins.
Existentialism: Toys are a figment of your imagination.
Confucianism: Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
Non-denominationalism: We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them.
Agnosticism: It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.
Unitarian Universalism: We still haven't decided if the toys exist.
Militia: The government has taken too many of our toys and we need to get them back.
Reconstructionist/Dominion: The toys are broken.  WE will fix the toys for everyone, regardless of their wishes.
Christian Identity: White toys are supreme!
Feminists: The female toys are victims and should get to “beat up on” any other toy that doesn’t agree.
Televangelists: If you will just send in your toy, we will be able to help a million more people.
Homeschoolers: He who keeps his toys at home wins.
Psychiatry: Do your toys sometimes make you feel depressed
Psychology: If your toys don't make you happy, get new ones.
Humanism: To thine own toy be true.
Anarchists: If we can't have our toys, no one can have toys.
New World Order/Illuminati: Our toys will rule the world!
Free Masonry: No information on toys is available to non-members.
Scholars - We understand toys better than you ever can, so we make the rules for playing with toys.
Nicolaitans: You need us to help you keep your toys in order and understand them properly.
Laodiceans: Everyone has a right to toys.
Gnosticism: The ultimate objective is to learn more about toys.
Mafia: If you don't give us your toys we'll break your fingers.


Truth: He who dies with the most toys, dies! 
Better know where you’re going when you die!


  1. Hahahaha!!! :D
    By the way, love the photo of you - I realised I haven't seen very many photos of you or any of your family when you all were younger - I would love to see more!!

    1. I'll have to see what can be done about that. :-)

  2. I enjoyed this especially the last one. I hope that doesn't make me weirder than I already am, O.O
    If only we all had the same religion, but then, we'd be robots and not be able to experience all the Lord has done for us.
    Have a great day!

    1. Actually, the last one is my favorite too. :-) I head it from a guest speaker at our church.

      One of the truly great things about the true God, the God of the Bible, is that He gives us a choice. He does not compel us to love and serve Him, although He obviously could have since we see examples in nature of things that absolutely don't vary from the laws He placed upon them - such as bees who live by very rigid natural laws. I'm thankful for Joshua 24:15 - ...choose you this day whom ye will serve... - which gives us the privilege of choosing to follow the Lord.

  3. Haha...some funny philosophies, indeed!


    1. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Glad you enjoyed them. :-)