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Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Signs that You Are No Longer A Kid


The artist's family in the garden. Claude Monet


SIGNS THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER A KID

You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.

Your back goes out more than you do.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in.

You buy a GPS for the dash of your car.

You have an opinion on Home Owner's Associations.

You are proud of your lawn mower.

You sing along with the elevator music.

You would rather go to work than stay home sick.

You constantly talk about the price of healthcare or polotics.

You enjoy hearing about other people's operations or birthings.

You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

You make an appointment to see the dentist.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You know what time the garbage truck and the mail comes.

Neighbors borrow your tools or books.

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

You answer a question with, "because I said so!"

You take a metal detector to the beach.

You wear socks with sandals.

You know what the word "equity" means.

You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor.

Your ears are hairier than your head.

You get into a heated discussion about Health Savings Accounts.

You got cable for the weather channel.

You got on the internet so you could share photos of your kids or see photos of your grandchildren.

-- Original author unknown. Edited.

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