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Tuesday, August 28, 2012

A Few Facts Picked Up Along Life’s Road

 

Photo by Justin Nation

Everyone picks up a few basic facts about life as they live it. Here are a few that I have learned by personal experience, and by watching or hearing others. The ages I learned these things are ball park figures.  I can't even remember when I learned some of them. Some of these things will be all too familiar to the reader. I leave you to your imagination. :-)

3 - Watch where you're setting your cup.

3 - Tea time is the best time of day.

4 - Food is made to eat, not wear.

5 - Cakes are not meant to have papayas or other large fruit set on them.

5 - Never help clean a chicken while wearing a good dress.

7 and older - Don't run in the dark; especially in yards you are not familiar with. There may be pipes sticking out at head level, holes and large dips, or gardens with low fences around them.

7 - You can't save time putting clean socks on later by wearing your dirty socks into the bathtub.

8 - When an adult hands you a bowl of something sloppy or a bottle of soda pop and says, "Don't drop it," it's better to say, "Yes, ma'am/sir" or "I'll try not to." Never say, "I won't," because you probably will.

8 - If your parents eat weird stuff, you probably will too.

8 - Never go on a rollercoaster, especially when you had a hot dog for lunch.

9 - Untrained great Danes cannot be walked on a leash, especially by little girls.

9 - Multiplication tables can be learned much faster than you thought possible when there's a banana split waiting at the other end.

9 - Sometimes Mom will let you have a chocolate syrup sandwich for lunch, but don't ask too often.

10 - Don't stand under a cat when it's stranded in a tree. Especially do not try to call the cat to come down. Your head may look like a closer and easier landing spot than the ground.

10 - Babies are noisy!

10 - Never mouth off to your Mom just because you think your Dad is out of earshot.

10 [several hours later] - Never mouth off to your Mom.

11 - Never watch your brother clean a fish, especially if he's in a hurry.

11 - Southern California winter clothes and Michigan winter clothes are not the same.

11 - If you cut your bangs too short you can't fix them, you just have to wait for them to grow.

12 - The day you have to help push a car out of a snowy, muddy driveway you will probably be wearing white socks.

12 - Outhouses are extremely cold on a snowy, winter afternoon.

13 - It's easier to gain weight than to lose.

14 - You're the most likely to slop food or tooth paste on yourself when you're "ready to go" and don't have much time to change.

15 - Dogs that can't be housebroken don't belong in the house.

16 - Picky eating is not a virtue.

18 - Old people may not be as exciting, but they are usually more interesting than "teenagers."

18 - Your brother is not as stupid as you think he is.

18 - Love at first site is more romantic in stories than in real life, especially when it’s one-sided and you are on the uninterested side.

19 - One of the greatest blessings you can have in life is to see your dad, mom, or grandparent reading their Bible just because they want to.

20 - If the shoe don't fit, don't wear it.

20 - The clothes that are the most difficult to clean, the most fragile, the most expensive, or your favorites will attract food and dirt the most. You will rarely slop anything permanent on clothes you don't like.

20something - When you think you have bad problems, the Lord will often show you someone that has much worse troubles than you do to remind you that yours really aren't all that bad.

20something - Perfect hair is not a virtue, nor a necessity.

20something - The toilet paper and facial tissue do not have to match the decor of the room.

25 - NEVER step on a stink bug in the house.

26 - Arguing with your brother is a waste of time. Let him be wrong.......or maybe you're wrong yourself.

27 - Don't set your bread machine to start in the wee hours of the morning so you can have warm, fresh bread for breakfast. If it happens to work its way off the counter and falls with a loud crash to the kitchen floor, it will scare your daughters half out of the few wits they have. [My mom did this to us. :-) ]

28 - It's better to be comfortable than fashionable.

30 - Beware how you judge others.  The Lord may put you in their situation to show you how wrong you were.

32 - Don't wish your life away. Be thankful and enjoy it.

32 - Don't pet a shedding rabbit when you're wearing lip balm.

32 - Mutual love for the Lord can make friendships across unlikely differences.

33 - Do not squash a snail between your fingers, even if you have gloves on. The contents of the shell have to go somewhere, and your face is probably too close.

34 - Growing, picking and making jam with your own strawberries is one of life's real pleasures.

34 - Doing laundry may not be "fun," but having a drawer full of fresh, clean clothes is a very comfortable feeling.

37 - You can survive things that you wouldn’t have thought possible.

38 - Don’t do a gross, messy job with your tongue sticking out.

38 - The Lord really does know what kind of spouse you need, and His timing is always perfect.

39 - Chickens are incredibly dumb.

39 - Don’t borrow trouble. The interest rate is terrible.

40 - There are advantages to middle age.  Metabolism change is not one of them.

40 - Your parents gain value to you as you age.

40 - Life is too short to waste it on useless worry and speculation about things that you can’t change and have no control over.

41 - People who believe politicians can do something to solve the problem probably haven’t been awake for some years now.

41 - When you go through your house to pick out the few things you’d want to take in case of evacuation, you learn how unimportant most of your stuff is.

41 - Your plans to raise your own food and livestock are worthless if you don’t have water.  Water is more precious than gold.

42 - When it comes to work, there is no such thing as “done”.

42 - Productive kitchens are not clean kitchens.

42 - Closed doors may be discouraging, but more than one open door makes for difficult decisions.

Photo by Justin Nation

6 comments:

  1. These are great, some of them are hilarious!! I reckon I might have to write my own version of this sometime - what an excellent way to remember some of the lessons learned through our lives! :)

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    1. I would be interested to read your list too. :-)

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  2. Some very important little tidbits of wisdom there! :)

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  3. This is a pretty good history of things that happened in our family through the years. It's amazing what kids have to do to learn valuable lessons in life.

    I had a good laugh over some of these as I remembered the time it happened!!! Sometimes it is good to have been the Mom in some of these situations!!!

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    1. Mom, I'm sure you wondered sometimes where we got our nutty ideas. LOL :-)

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