An Open Letter to Christian Parents

Dear Christian parents,

There is a lot of information being put out by various groups about how to raise “good, godly” children. There are various methods promoted, some even will imply or say outright that their method is the best and will absolutely give the desired results “if followed correctly.” Some go so far as to form cult-like groups to keep their children “safe” from not only the world, but also from the real or imagined problems with other Christian groups and people - and I do mean real Christians, just to clarify.

I'm a married Christian woman who has no children. But, I watched my parents raise two much-younger siblings, and I have observed a lot of friends and other people with their children, and I'd like to share some thoughts with you. I know some people get all uptight about single or childless people having opinions about raising kids. I understand that because I know how intrusive some people are with their uninformed opinions. However, I also know that some of us see real problems and, because we know our thoughts are not welcome, we are afraid to say anything. Sometimes they are things that would actually be helpful to you if you would stop to consider our perspective. So, I'm writing this with the hope of helping someone who may be feeling overwhelmed with some aspects of raising children in this day we live in. I doubt any honest parent would say they haven't been overwhelmed!

1. There is no foolproof plan.

The Pearls, Bill Gothard (ATI, IBLP), your pastor, Voddie Baucham, the Duggars, James Dobson, S.M. Davis, Tedd Tripp, Scott Brown, and dozens of others, do not have a perfect plan. They are not experts on your children. Even you don't know everything about your children. Only your children’s Creator can claim that role. Only their Creator should claim that role. In fact, when parents become obsessed with knowing everything and controlling everything about their children very bad things can happen. Just sayin'...

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Temple Grandin Talking About Autism

Temple Grandin, the lady famous for being one of the first diagnosed with autism and then going on to become a well-educated, functioning, contributing person, talks here about autism and things that can be done to help children who have it. As a person who is highly artistic and also suffers from an anxiety disorder, I feel very strongly about art and hands on creative things being removed from school curriculum. I also hope this gives someone a better understanding about helping children and adults with autism and related disorders.

God allows some things for reasons that we do not understand. Through history, many of the great artists and highly skilled people in special areas such as mathematics, linguistics, music, technology, and other things have been or are somewhere on the autism spectrum. Helping children with autism find the things they are good at and helping them increase those skills is very important. For Christian parents, you may help them find that one thing or those few things that they can do that will be truly productive to God's glory and give them a sense of being useful in this life. This is important for everyone.

Also, as a side note, I agree with Ms. Grandin that it is wrong to breed animals for food or our enjoyment in such a way that they suffer or have problems. Proverbs 12:10 A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast: but the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel.

I do not remember there being any profanity or using of God's name in vain in this video. If I have missed something I apologize. Please leave a comment.

I have no control over ads or suggested videos.

Making A Man

Hurry the baby as fast as you can,
Hurry him, worry him, make him a man.
Off with his baby clothes, get him in pants,
Feed him on brain foods and make him advance.
Hustle him, soon as he's able to walk,
Into a grammar school; cram him with talk.
Fill his poor head full of figures and facts,
Keep on a-jamming them in till it cracks.
Once boys grew up at a rational rate,
Now we develop a man while you wait,
Rush him through college, compel him to grab
Of every known subject a dip or a dab.
Get him in business and after the cash,
All by the time he can grow a mustache.
Let him forget he was ever a boy,
Make gold his god and its jingle his joy.
Keep him a-hustling and clear out of breath,
Until he wins - nervous prostration and death.

Nixon Waterman
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Maybe this is how we got to the point where boys grow up much too fast - or refuse to grow up at all.

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Painting by Mary Casset

How to Get Up Off the Floor - A Tutorial

Here's a useful video on how to get up off of the floor if you fall when you are alone. This will not work in every situation. Lack of strength or carpeting would make it much harder. I do recommend having a chair in every room of your house if there is space for that since it would make this easier.

My mom fell around 6 times last year. Because of her limited mobility we had to call the emergency services a number of times to get her up when my husband wasn't home. I really encourage trying to keep some muscle tone and flexibility through intentional exercise as you go into your mid to later years of life. I want to work on this more myself after watching my Mom's difficulties with this. Anyway, it's something I think about because I never know when I'll get the next call that she's down nor how bad it will be. Her last fall was quite bad because she hit her head on a side table.

Thought from the Past - Schools As Social Agencies

Here is an item copied years ago from The Fairhaven Fundamentalist:

A new mantra has crept into the stream of discourse about government's role in social services. Identified as an African proverb, it is, "It takes a whole village to raise a child."

This statement is false, if not ridiculous. It takes a family, especially a mother and father, to raise a child, and most parents don't want the whole village butting into the raising of their children because they know that, if the village usurps parental prerogatives, the village will teach children behavior the parents don't want them to learn.

The "Whole Village" mantra is not merely a rhetorical flourish or poetic license. It is the indicia of a major initiative of the social services professionals to expand their turf at the expense of parental authority and responsibility.

The key to catching most or all school children in the social-service web, whether their families want such services or not, is the categorization of children as "at risk," a magic phrase used to authorize the state to do whatever it wants with children. The more children who are designated as "at risk," the more personnel and funds the public schools can demand ...

No issue in America today is more important than education. We must not allow the public schools to teach children that parents are irrelevant and that the government will be their baby sitter, their nanny, their doctor, their nurse, their psychiatrist, and ultimately their employment agency. Our goal must be to teach all children how to read, to know about our great American heritage, and to be educated to fulfill their individual God-given potential.

 ... Copied [Disclaimer on source.]
(I apologize that I did not record the date of this item.)

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Comments on previous article by Mary E. Stephens (updated Oct. 2019):

Here is another good reason to teach your kids at home. The less your children are in the "village," the less opportunity the "villagers" have to tear down your standards. These "villagers" WILL try to "educate" your children with their "values" if you give them the chance, whether it's by sending them to the public school or letting them watch T.V., play ungodly games (computer, video, board, etc.), or any other unprofitable thing.

Colossians 2:8 Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.

If you are supposed to beware, then why would you let man "spoil" your children by these very things?

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Did You Meme That? - Blaming Grandparents for Bad Grandchildren

Today being grandparents' day, this meme seemed like a good topic to address. I hope this encourages someone.

"The test of a parent's Christianity is his children's children! It is not enough that my children walk in the ways of the Lord. The true test is where my grandchildren and great-grandchildren continue to walk in God's ways."  - Nancy Campbell from Above Rubies Ministry

This quote probably sounds really convicting and/or inspiring to some people. But, the truth is that it is a lie. The reason is that it is in direct contradiction to the word of God.

People like to think that if they live just right and do everything just the way their teachers tell them God likes it, their descendants will turn out to be good, godly Christians. (Notice that it's the teachers that they listen to, not God's word.) The "christian" patriarchy movement has served up this lie in various ways by teaching parents and grandparents that they are personally responsible for the future, salvation, and Christianity of their children. This is a false teaching, perhaps we should even say heresy since it can directly affect the doctrine of salvation.

What does God actually say about this specific subject?

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Links Worth Reading - Technology's Negative Effects On Children and Babies

Psalm 78:2-4 I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. 

Some time back my husband and I were eating in a local restaurant. A mother came in with her daughter who appeared to be around 8 years old. They ordered and were waiting for their food. The girl had crayons and a coloring book or paper. The mother was glued to her smart phone. At some point the daughter after trying to communicate with her mom and being ignored or rebuffed started to cry. The mother told her in a harsh voice that was too loud for the situation that this was, "unacceptable behavior" and ordered her to stop crying. The mother was obviously highly annoyed to be interrupted in whatever she was doing on her phone by her daughter's need for attention. Dear reader, I wanted to get up and go over to that table and tell the mother that her behavior was "unacceptable." She shouldn't be loudly rebuking her daughter and that she should be paying attention to her daughter instead of being totally engrossed in the cyber world. Then maybe the girl wouldn't feel like she had to cry to get her attention! I didn't do it, but I have to admit that I was angry inside seeing that little girl be treated that way by her mother, and I am still sad for her.

This article is really worth reading. It addresses a serious problem with technology in many areas relating to childhood. I recommend it to anyone who is a parent, grandparent, aunt, sibling, or in any other way associated with children - pretty much all of us.

Excerpt: "Today’s children are being deprived of the fundamentals of a healthy childhood, such as:

• Emotionally available parents
• Clearly defined limits and guidance
• Responsibilities
• Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep
• Movement and outdoors
• Creative play, social interaction, opportunities for unstructured times and boredom"

Read it here: The Silent Tragedy Affecting Today's Children

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Is Ultrasound a safe option during pregnancy? I had heard some things in the past about the possibility that ultrasound was not as safe as it is reported to be. One man I know said that if they had children his wife was not getting any ultrasounds. Some situations may warrant one for safety purposes, but recreational, gender identification, and entertainment factor ultrasounds are highly questionable, and often repeated ultrasounds for "diagnostic purposes" should be avoided if at all possible. Some folks like to blame all the autism and various other problems on one source - often vaccines. I feel that there are multiple reasons for why children are suffering from so many disorders that were much less common in the past. One that people often don't think about, and I seldom hear mentioned is ultrasounds.

This article is informative and thought provoking, and it is written by a doctor who practices integrative medicine.

Perils of Peeking Into the Womb: Ultrasound Risks

Excerpt: "This recent study suggests that the seemingly benign practice of obstetrical ultrasonography is one practice that deserves urgent reassessment. Researchers exposed pregnant mice at 14.5 days gestation (a neurologically vulnerable window) to 30 minutes of fetal ultrasound and assessed the pups’ behavior at 3 weeks of age. They found that the exposed pups were significantly less interested in social interactions and had significant levels of behavioral hyperactivity, in the presence of an unfamiliar mouse."